Langsung ke konten utama

Being Me.

its about 17th i life, how i get trough my problem, how i cried and how i know that i'm happy.
My life, isn't easier as everyone sees. I cried alone, i could die on my tought(s) and thats all alone.
I have taste how the pain was, how the dissapoint was, the taste of being love, to fall in love, and to get hurt.
But its okay, its about 2-3 years, finally i could lived my life. I could see the happiness on pain, i could see the learn behind fall. I could feel positive; even tough i know its hurt me, or i can't even think i could make it.
After make a war to my own self. After fight against my own self. Finally i could love myself. I could fix (even tough still on progress) i could fix myself. I know my problem is hard, but everyone have a problem. They can make it, so why can't i?
My only problem is i have scars. I have demons inside me and no one know, i can't even leave it even if i want to. My only problem is my mind who could make it harder. Who make me sees everything difficult; even if thats not.
Thats my problem, everyone is have a problem and they can make it, they didn't have a demons, but i have.
I know i shouldn't make it too much, but the pain and feel broken, unwanted, dumb, not preety( even if i am really not preety) hit me all the time.
Everytime my friend insult me. I broken a little bit more.
Why are them call me only if they need me? Why they leave me behind when they didn't need me? Why should i being care? Why? Just why?
Not mean to be selfish. But i need that too, i need friend and i need for being wanted.
But everyone always want me, when they need somethin' from me.
I know thats seems not hard enough.
But it could hurt me.
Lil bit.
Yeah, just a little bit and you don't need to worry about that.

Love, nisa.

Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

The Perks Of Being Single.

hello peeps. kali ini gue mau bahas beberapa things, yang jadi kelebihan bawa lebih enak single, loh! haha (padahal provokator biar pada jomblo nemenin gue) wkwk XD 1. The Time Is Yours. buat cewek nih terutama, pasti semua orang butuh me time. plan lo yang tadinya mau nonton film/ drama korea 16 episode dibabat habis habisan hari itu (niatnya) eh gagal pas di episode pertengahan doi nelfon/ ngechat. Kan jadi gak fokus, ya ga girl? Ini kelebihannya. Kalo lo Single, otomatis kan gak ada yang perlu lo khawatirin. Takut doi marah kalo gadibales or blah bla blah. 2. Gak takut ribut-ribut. Lo lagi gabut dirumah, nungguin doi ngechat atau ngajak jalan. Eh tiba-tiba temen lo atau orang rumah ngajak pergi dan lo lupa bawa handphone atau lowbat. Bayangin, kalo lo single kan enak. Haha, lo punya Quality Time sama orang lain. Gaperlu check hp almost every single minute. Have Fun. Atau lebih baiknya, gak perlu berantem-berantem karena doi marah chat gak dibales, atau karena handphonemu ketin...

Dream, again.

Ini bukan kamarku, Kamar ini sangat indah. Satu ruangan berukuran sedang, dengan dinding kaca tembus pandang kearah hutan yang terlihat sangat sejuk. Didepanku terpasang sebuah kaca besar.. Oh tuhan.. ini indah sekali.. Tapi kemudian, Aku merasakan seseorang berada dibelakang tubuhku dan bersandar di dinding kasur. Dan ia duduk, Memangku tubuhku yang kian tenggelam dalam kesunyian.. Tapi tidak dengan otak dan hatiku.. Diotakku tergambar banyak.. ugh.. adegan dan khayalan ' ugh so impossible' dan hatiku bergoyang harlem shake. Dengan sangat menggembirakan. Aku otomatis tersenyum saat melihat pantulan wajahnya di cermin didepan.. Kita.. Tangannya merangkulku dari belakang. Membiarkan kaki kita berdua bertabrakan dan menimbulkan rasa... Yang kian menghangat.. Bahkan panas. Aku tersenyum lagi. Rasanya hatiku menghangat dan merasa sangat nyaman dengan keadaan ini. Aku memundurkan kepalaku kebelakang dan menyandarkannya pada tubuhnya yang terasa sangat.. Uh sexy as...

IM BACKK!

Hello fellas! Its going to end of 2015 right? Haha, long time i’ve been hiatus, sejak postingan blog gue yang terakhir—its on november 2014. Woaaah! Its a long time, one year! And.. yeah , i miss the past me , tbh. Di satu tahun ini apa ya? its mungkin my cloudy years ? Iya . Banyak banget yang udah terjadi ditahun ini, lol. Actually, my life is tetep kayak dulu ya, but.. ga berasa 1 tahun ini i spend without him (y’all know who is, kan?) yup. Setelah lari, dan akhirnya gue capek juga. Ternyata emang masih banyak bagian gue yang gak bisa lepas dari dia, dari banyaknya cowok yang apa ya, sebut aja make me happy. Selama satu tahun belakangan, yang ada.. bukan feel happy sih. Rasanya makin ngerasa ‘its not me’ ga tau kenapa. Padahal gak seharusnya i feel that way. Semua udah berubah, dan ga seharusnya i still stuck arround. Kayak there was a big hole , entah kenapa. Banyak banget yang berubah satu  tahun ini; liat aja dari cara penulisan gue yang ini, entah k...